I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
