You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
