dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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