The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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