I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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