oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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Boobs speak an international language.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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