never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
