if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
