You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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