mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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