he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
