I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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