So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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