she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
