Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
