mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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