I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
