don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
