Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
