I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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