From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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