Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize