if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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