How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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