Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize