HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
