Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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