My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
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IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize