I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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