I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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