help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
