The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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