at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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