Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
