Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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