Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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