Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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