I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
