I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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