he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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