next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
