i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
