Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
