ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
