Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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