Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
