He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
