I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
