quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
