If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
