ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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