whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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