soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
