Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
