I want to stick my p in your. b.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
