Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
