im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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