maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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