I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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