this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This show inspires me to have sex in space
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
