she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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