why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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